Is it... Love?

There used to be a song where they sang that line. We know what Love is, the definition is in the Catechism: "To Will the Good of Another." 6 words. In some languages, it could be 3, I suppose. So, there is no reason for confusion about what Love is. But perhaps we can be excused for not understanding from whence it comes.

This morning, still stuck in the hospital, I was talking with the Main Voice that talks to me (since childhood) and it seemed at one point that it might be revealed what / who / whatever the Voice really is, and I said, no, wait, I don't want to know. Why? Because when I don't know, I can visualize a sort of unlimited source of love, with no labels, or criteria or anything, it is open-ended. I don't want that reduced to a particular. What would happen then? Particulars can fail. I see. That makes sense.

So I was then thinking, is this really what I want in receiving Love? Unattached, non-exclusive, unlimited, unlabeled, not of any time or place or circumstance? Yes. And so I thought, this is what a Hetaira offers: an interchangeable, non-attached, caring but anonymous source that can be relied on, because it is not particular or personal. I want to give that. It is my nature. Because that is what I want to give, I want to receive it also. It is the only proper way to love that I can comprehend. When I see people with their spouses or children, I am kind-of put off, because it seems icky somehow - so personal and loaded with expectations and hidden possibilities of hurt. If people didn't have needs, then I suppose we could all go around this way, idyllic, handing out Love to whomever it seemed could use it at the time. But needs seem to nail everything to the ground, and your children cannot be put off, and your spouse has to be indulged. To me, some indulgence and one-sidedness is normal, I don't mind, but what if the source is inadequate? What are both people to do then? There is a need that cannot be met. Love is thwarted by the limitations of its agency. Ugly.

Krishnamurti talked about "Love without the image." I think that is what the Catechism definition gets at: it is not about the source. God sends light from the sun, he does not parcel it out differently to 'good' and 'bad' people. Love just happens. So when I try to explain the Hetaira perspective and people are put off, it is them, right? I actually want to do things rightly. I actually want to receive love in that impersonal, non-exclusive way. The Main Voice then said, You are in the hospital, and here it is all around you. Enjoy. Bliss