cloud atlas

It is clear how the Ego can consist entirely of a self-reinforcing and self-defending set of... beliefs, whatever. Stuff. The ego at its worst is basically an armed waste disposal area occupied by thieves. But it has a proper purpose: to allow us as we are growing from about age 2 - 20, to discover the self and how it operates, while keeping things safely together. I think of it like a big lily bud that is still closed.

But we are meant to progress past that. In early adulthood, the bud should unfold to reveal the glory of the self. Freed from the confines of definition, we then explore, enjoy, grow and change further. I call this the Neo state. But in this state, there are not any ego-based elements: no values, morals, goals, right and wrong, etc. The sense of living from day to day and remembering the past, being guided by past knowledge, and planning for future situations... goes away. This reminds me of a description I read once of a group of Brahmins. A Neo is therefore a naked self without an ego container, standing alone. If we think of a line drawn down to the center of the earth, the analogy is that all Neos - selves - are connected at a single point, or that they develop from a point, or something. But beyond that, they need have nothing in common whatsoever. Two Neos are no more likely to get along (even if they know they are) than any other two people. I experienced this. Everyone has some aspects of Neo already, but they usually do not experience the state of rapture, or the complete freedom from thought that occurs, except in unusual circumstances. I find that I would peak in to this state, then slide down out of it. It is not particularly useful, and is not final. We are meant to grow beyond it.

Night Man pastel I did

How to solve the problem? Do away with the self. In my case, I was listening to a visualization on a retreat. For purposes of the retreat, I had mentally decided to be willing to set aside everything that I "knew" - all the spiritual learning and most of the training I had had, experience of past lives, etc. - and just try out what the teachers were telling me. So during a visualization, I was considering the Absolute, Unmanifested Void beyond creation, and Experience as the only two things that really exist. This worked for me. Then I saw the distinction vanish.

So the question that I have, is how can there still be likes, dislikes, enjoyment, etc, and the tendency to "do things a certain way" and be perceived in certain ways? My way of thinking of it is that there is no longer a Neo / self / flagpole to hang attributes on. But what goes on in the absence of the self is like how a location tends to have particular weather. It is not connected to anything, it just occurs there. And no-self weather is instantly changeable. I notice / remember, go "uh", then whatever I was thinking about or concerned over vanishes like water poured on to sand. This is not a state, and has no attributes. It simply does things, or better: things happen. Experience.