no best self

Who wants to know?

Have you ever felt like you were calling on the self-phone, trying to reach your higher nature? For me, the calls go through, but Customized Service can't always give me an answer to my questions. I have had this experience since I was a child, and have discussed it with a friend of mine, that there is a Main Voice that talks with me, but it is not - as I see it - part of my personality. My friend admits that the voice is there, but says it has no special knowledge. I would say it does, but it is a perspective of what I am experiencing right then.

I do not aspire to be that "better self", because to me, it does not represent a self, or an improved version of me, or anything at all, really. It is just "a thought having a thought", which is perfectly fine, as long as I am clear about it. (I don't have a Thinking problem, I can stop any time.)

It irks me when I read magazine articles about becoming my true self or best self or whatever. The assumption seems to be that I just need some improving and more experience and I will have it all down. A few false beliefs pruned and some right view, and I will be much better off. No, the point is to realize that the thought process is a mechanism, and it is not special, or permanent or important or an identity... It is just something happening, really. It is like worshiping a tree: what happens in a hundred years when the tree inevitably dies? Did God go away? How then is reality still unfolding? (I guess if we are standing there pondering, it is alright, but if one's own tree dies, then that would be a problem.)

I DO use the phrase True Nature, which I first heard from Deborah Westmoreland. It sounds similar, but my distinction is:

1. It is not MY nature, but the nature of Experience
2. It is true in the sense of being free of wrong ideas
3. It is impersonal
4. It does not point to a higher reality, but the one we observe

So, "True Nature" is like a placeholder that defers questions until one gets beyond the need to have them answered. No one ever takes it to the bank. That's much better than the temptation to believe in a better version of oneself. For what will that self do? What will it want? This is the childish belief in happily ever after. Heaven exists, but it is still limited, still impermanent, and one must still face the fact that one is special, just like everyone else. There is no trophy for being so wonderful. What do you want this better scenario for? It just kicks the same can down the road. Throw the can away now.

True Nature is the realization that the whole idea of specialness was a fabrication. Things are good how they are. Life doesn't need frosting, or any dessert at all. The main course is fine.