The Naughtism Spectrum

I was thinking that people (yes, I know they do not exist...) seem to vary in their experiences of nonduality, from: maybe happened a bit as a young child, to a few adult experiences, to some awakening but still integrating, to "fully involved" (A candle was made to become entirely flame - Rumi), to beyond comprehension. So, I created the phrase, the 'Naught'ism Spectrum, since it is another one of those things we thought was a lot of things, but it is really just one big hairy ill-defined thing, and lets get it over with. (I think that is actually the definition of "normal variation", but OK.)

Peace of Mind - 25 cents

Apparently the word is used in a variety of other contexts, so I probably could not get away with introducing it in to my writing. I looked at Not-ism (w/o hyphen) instead, and it is the name of a design and collaboration tool. Not so bad, actually, but likely to result in a lot of wrong search results. Like my "Bare Eyes" name being the same as a brand of makeup... oops. One person said that Notist Art is about trying to preserve some personal history in the face of everything going ephemerally digital. Interesting coincidence.

The WWW is just too darn big and popular these days! Huh.

But back to my point: there is a spectrum of nondual experiences. One satori doth not awakening make. I found a nice article about "Premature Claims to Awakening" and it said that there is a "head awakening" and then it has to move through your being / personality and all the old crap has to get worked through. Otherwise you have "masters" going off and doing bad things. (Bad things? Nevermind... Never... mind... That is funny. Stop talking to yourself! OK, jeez! Wasn't there another article about having a Voice that leads us through the growth process? Hmm.)

The Yoga of Everyday Life

I wrote this list down November 17th:

• get up anyway
• eat anyway
• go to work anyway
• do the ordinary things now, today
• stifle the urge to be special
• be interested, not interesting
• watch the story unfold, forget Story

"Story" is a term from Byron Katie referring to what we tell ourselves over and over. I often neglect to eat, which is not helpful. This list is a set of prompts to remind myself to "get on with it" and stop making issues of nothing, or wishing to draw attention to myself. I find it uplifting.

it

I meet other people who seem self-realized at times, and other times perhaps not. Sometimes I feel not. But what I decided today is that what I am doing is "it": I am the ways that I am, and I will not worry about what my experience is or what others' experience is. I don't really care if I am "doing it right" or have the right views, or whatever. If someone wants to straighten me out, they can. In the meantime, this is it.

faith

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Heb 11.1. How many people really understand that? It led me forward for a long time, the knowledge that because I had faith, there was inherently, unarguably something to have faith in. It was like a blind person believing in light... yes. There is light.
Recently I came across a list of stages to Liberation on a Buddhist site. I thought it was interesting because I am trying to fit everything to my 3 stage model (ego, self, no-self) and in this stack of about 15 levels, I drew a line between faith and joy, which was above it: this is the line, the distinction between someone still in the ego perspective (can't see) and the person who has peeked beyond the wall to the world beyond ego ("more light! more light!" as Goethe said).
Once you have seen it finally, there is no room for faith anymore. It has been abrogated by the Experience of one-with. God takes it away, along with any idea of not being God. We are in it, we are the godhead, the water of the sea. I is revoked by we.

emptiness

'Emptiness' is a spiritual term. I can't really explain it here, it is covered in a lot of texts on Buddhism. To me, it means that the world that we see is not going to give us any answers, permanence or security. I am sure it is deeper than that, but that is enough to deal with at the moment.

"It made so many colors"

I am finding it both liberating and undermining that, as Vivekacudemani #515 says, "I am without purpose". How good, to be relieved of the burden of having to DO anything in particular! Maybe I can just decide for myself rather than feel forced to be useful? Whatever I decide, has to be good enough, because it is all that there is. There is no moral imperative to aspire, it is a free choice. Much more mature, in my opinion. (Watch out for the line, "I am eternal" which follows it. Ouch.)

But what exactly shall I do? My girlfriend recently asked me in a very kind way, "What do you WANT?" It was nice to be asked, instead of told, but I had no answer. She said that I can take my time figuring it out. Well, I have a list of desires, but I think her question is really about purpose. Either I have to embrace "I am without purpose" or I have to select one. Desires are not much of a draw, although the delight of simple enjoyment, and the orgiastic sense of pleasure in doing plain things like driving the car while listening to music are engaging, they do not provide a reason for being. I know that there is no reason, yet I can't seem to just go sans slogan: I need something to put on my T-shirt, because going naked is not an option in this world. (What if my mission is to inform the world about emptiness? I like the circularity of that... "The end has never already happened!")

What will I decide is worth doing? Will emptiness be a source of freedom, or despair?