attributes

The other day my girlfriend said something very profound. She was talking about someone she knew and she said that "he realized he was not his own God" or something like that. What an amazing phrase!

I still have not fully seen the implications, but of course the first thing to come to mind was that one certainly must be beyond ego to have that awareness, and beyond Neo also, because the Neo state still has a center. As long as there is something to hang attributes on, the hope persists that it can be "improved".

Which building am I in?

This morning I was thinking that the idealization of others is part of the ego's program for self-deification. The ego sees people with desirable characteristics, and it tries to emulate, copulate, counterfeit, steal or whatever it has to do to climb to the top of the great hill and be God. Not so much from a cause of having power, or being seen, but because a self cannot help but feel lack. Anywhere the shoe pinches, it is not satisfactory, and the self wants perfection. So Buddha's foundational statement, "life is unsatisfactory", is the absolute truth of the ego perspective.

I have admired traits and achievements in others, like my friend with 2 PhD's and 4 patents and a 500 page book. My idealization of her is not truly seeing her, it is me seeing how small and insignificant I am. Cheering her on is me wishing someone would cheer me on. My point is not that there is something wrong with her at all. She is fine as she is. My point is that my view of her is from standing in a hole in the ground, looking up. I am the one with the problem. Psychologically, this has already been explained. But I do not think it has been addressed in terms of spiritual growth.

The answer is not to dismiss others, or the self's frailties. It will not help to reason or re-condition myself, or fault the culture. Everything is what it is. The only fault, is in the "star" inside myself that is its own God. Knock that idol down, dethrone the self to its rightful position as an agent, not an agency, and all will be well.